Your tits are I can't wait for
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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