Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
