Non-Jews are for practice
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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