That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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