had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize