Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize