I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
