So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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