Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
