It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
