Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
