you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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