Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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