TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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