just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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