just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
