Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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