her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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