OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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