The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
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