Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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