You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
