its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
