And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just threw up on my dentist
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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