I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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