i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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