You really coming over, don't trick.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
