There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
