There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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