Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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