Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
