one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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