At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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