I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
