it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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