im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt