What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
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Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
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Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry