I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on