My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
