I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
did i just pee glitter
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
