Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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