His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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