I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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