i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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