there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
