you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
