"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
