Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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