Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You dont lie about slip and slides
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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