I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
