normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
