it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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