He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize