it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
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Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
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