Don't you send me to vm
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
my poor anus
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
