i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
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We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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