u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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