but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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