Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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