This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
...so i touched it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
there is glitter all over my balls
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