It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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