Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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