I will die if light touches me.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
