yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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