Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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