How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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