I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize