SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
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i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize